


with a taste of a poison paradise

by Anonymous



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Background Relationships, F/M, Fantasizing, M/M, Multi, Underage Drinking, sibs are 16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 11:43:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19272589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Diego can feel the speakers in his bones, leaning against the club’s wall. The seven of them are five years too young for this place, but Allison whispered in the bouncer’s ear and then the bartender, and here they are.





	with a taste of a poison paradise

**Author's Note:**

> title from toxic  
> yet another loose interpretation of a [kinkmeme prompt](https://umbrellakink.dreamwidth.org/284.html?thread=995868#cmt995868) ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Diego can feel the speakers in his bones, leaning against the club’s wall. The seven of them are five years too young for this place, but Allison whispered in the bouncer’s ear and then the bartender, and here they are. 

Toxic starts up, and the dance floor is tempting. But he’s the only sober one left and _someone_ has to make sure they all get home and no one does anything monumentally stupid. Usually Luther would be playing designated sober, but Allison begged him before- didn’t even whisper those special words- so Diego claimed to have a stomach ache. (It isn’t altruistic, it’s good to have Allison owe him a favor.) His drink went to Luther, and the drinks only slowed when the dancing started. 

Somehow Luther and Allison are slow dancing to Britney, and that’s got to be a crime against music. Five is hitting on some blonde that’s obviously indulging him- she’s got to have at least a decade on him and is far too attractive to fall for his shorter brother’s fresh spun bullshit. 

The real action is with the other three, the given premise of this outing in fact: for Vanya to learn how to dance. Klaus had been winding up some dramatic speech about dancing and socializing and being one with the world, when Luther- _Luther_ \- said they should go out. Something’s obviously up with Daddy’s boy, but Diego doesn’t care. 

Right there, forty feet in front of him, a light flick of the wrist away- Ben and Klaus are teaching Vanya to dance. Klaus is all over her back, Ben her front, and Diego can’t believe those idiots haven’t toppled over yet. It’s not- it’s not structurally sound. 

Klaus slings an arm around Vanya’s waist and shimmies back, bending until he’s nearly parallel to the floor, Ben’s hands yanking him up again. Vanya’s hands move up to Ben’s shoulders, and the three of them are talking- must be yelling over the music- to each other, laughing. 

Warmth swells in his gut, too low, too intense and Diego checks on his other siblings. Allison and Luther have backed to the edge of the floor, making out, and he looks away quickly. Five is still at the bar with the blonde, a new neon pink drink in front of him with two straws. Lucky bastard. 

There’s a shout, and Diego’s gaze is dragged back to the three. The reason hits him slow, Rihanna’s Pon de Replay starting up. Klaus’s hands are on Vanya’s hips, manipulating her body and Ben’s saying something in her ear. Whatever it is has her pale cheeks turning a deep red, and Diego swallows. His throat is unnaturally dry, he should get some water from the bar. (…after this song. There’s an entire gyrating dance floor between him and the bar.)

Drop it like it’s Hot is next on the dj’s list, and Diego’s beginning to think the dj is satan. Ben and Klaus and Vanya finally separate- only for her two brothers to show her how to drop it. Which is more Klaus dropping it and Ben’s eyes on his ass. 

Diego’s face is on fire, eyes flicking to the other siblings. Luther and Allison are up against a wall now, have dropped all pretense of dancing. Five and the blonde have a blue drink, and holy shit, Five’s hand is on her thigh, disappearing up her dress. 

Without permission he looks back to the three, Vanya’s ass in Ben’s crotch as she tries to drop it, Klaus doing it again slower beside her. Ben’s hand is on her lower back, pushing down and _fuck_. 

A new song comes on about grinding, and what the fuck even. Klaus goes in front of Vanya, taking her hands in his, landing around his groin, and twisting his face back to nuzzle into her neck. Diego’s traitorous mind imagines joining them, can feel a phantom pressure on his dick. He doesn’t know if he wants to fuck them or be fucked by them more, wants everything all at once and-. Diego chokes on nothing, makes himself look at them again. It’s only dancing. (It’s so easy to picture the three of them fucking like this, Ben fucking Vanya and Vanya pegging Klaus.) 

Diego forces his eyes closed, cursing himself. They’re just dancing. They’re just teaching Vanya to dance, and he’s being the creep over-sexualizing the hell out of it. He would happily stab anyone that had his thoughts about his siblings- he’d even be able to, the bouncer’s glazed over expression not taking in his harness. 

The image won’t fade from the back of his eyelids, only gets worse. Ben’s tentacles enclosing all of them, Vanya and Klaus doing their best to take everything. Fuck- fuck, fuck, fuck. 

Diego’s hard. _Shit_. Okay. He can fix this. Unsexy thoughts. Like school, like math homework, doing math homework and eating cookies and Mom leaning over the table to take his plate and- God fucking dammit. 

His eyes snap open, whenever this outing is over he’s destroying a punching bag. Maybe two. Vanya and Ben and Klaus are dancing in a little circle, absolutely tame compared to before. He swallows, wondering how much exactly was in his head. He feels sick to his stomach, they’re his _siblings_. God he’s twisted. 

Thank fuck none of them can read minds.

(Even though Diego takes an icy cold shower once they get home, he still gets off in it. Blames the giggles that came from Ben’s room, could recognize Vanya and Klaus’s laughs anywhere.)

**Author's Note:**

> *and now with [a side fic about what was happening at the bar with five and his blonde](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19287499)


End file.
